Damn the outlet mall! I didn’t just come back with a new pair of kicks — I’ve got the Doobie Brothers stuck in my head!!!!!! (“…anybody else would surely know-wohw….sheeeeeee, had a place in his laiv….what a fool beleeeeeeeEEEEVEES!…the wahz man….”) AAAAGGGGH!!!!!

This is one rare example of the music I was initially exposed to as a kid that don’t appreciate now. Other stuff like the Beatles, Stevie Wonder and John Barry’s original Dr. No score are still my models for inspired music. By contrast anything Michael McDonald does is the opposite.

Recently my friend Nao let me hear an old Doobie track called “Rio,” that was initially really cool — great changes, odd meters, plucky guitar work, and then a chorus of McDonalds singing “I’m workin’ for the man everyday/up in the ci-tay/got to get awa-ay-ay.”

That lyric was so resonant with me that I could tolerate his unauthentic delivery of that cliche, but later at the song’s climax when he pleads “Oh, everybady gotta get on down!(in Ree-oh)” I could take no more. It was like watching a live TV broadcast where someone blurts an expletive, only not cool. So maybe a better example would be a 3P scene in a porno movie where the guys suddenly go down on each other and the girl just watches. [STOP]

It might seem like I have something against white-guys trying to be funky and soulful. I’m not. Jamiroquai, Steve Winwood, Joe Cocker AWB, and Stevie Ray Vaugh are just a few examples of musicians who can pull this off convincingly, but Michael McDonald…I’d better stop here.




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